


Can You Hear Me?

by Deans_Fetish



Series: Dark Series [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anger/Hostility, Angst, Boy Kissing, M/M, Schmoop, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-30
Updated: 2009-09-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 19:23:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8727217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deans_Fetish/pseuds/Deans_Fetish
Summary: Dean goes to see Sam at Bobby's. It's the first time since 'the incident' and neither know how to act at first or what to expect from the other.





	

Sam's steps faltered hearing the Impala pull into the yard, the engine cutting off.

Slightly slanted champagne hazel orbs darted over to Bobby who stood near the window, looking out between the blinds, watching as Dean slipped from behind the wheel.

Feeling Sam's gaze on him, Bobby tore his away from looking out the window, his eyes locking with Sam's. 

"You ain't gotta do this, if'n ya ain't ready, Sam," Bobby told him, shaking his head. 

Jaw clenched, muscle twitching, Sam gave a small shake of his head. "No, it's okay, Bobby. I need to do this."

The elder hunter nodded, sighing softly as he reached up to remove his cap, scratching his head before replacing the cap once more. 

"If yer sure," Bobby allowed, nodding toward the door.

Tearing his gaze away from Bobby, Sam looked toward the door, hands clenching and unclenching into fists at his sides, nostrils flaring as he gave a small nod. 

Sam licked his lips and drew in a deep breath before continuing toward the front door.

Dean stood in front of the house, staring up at the front door, his feet not wanting to move to take him inside.

But then, maybe it was for the best. 

Better that they talk out here, have it out, here in the open instead of in Bobby's small house where things could get broken if, or when, Sam decided to punch him. 

Not that he could blame Sam if he did. 

Hell, Dean couldn't blame the kid if he was met with a rifle pointed at his head.

Licking his lips nervously, Dean tilted his head to the side, squinting against the brilliant sunlight as he watched the front door start to open.

Here it came, for better or worse, this was it.

Sam was either going to kill him or forgive him. 

Personally, Dean almost hoped it was the former, instead of the latter, as much as he longed for it, he didn't deserve Sam's forgiveness, Dean knew that.

Sam stepped out onto the porch, fighting the intense desire to turn and run back into the safety of the house as he stood staring at his brother.

"Dean." The name was clipped as it fell from Sam's lips, quiet and emotionless. 

"Sammy," Dean breathed his brother's name, soft and full of emotion.

A muscle in Sam's jaw twitched as he stepped down off the porch, his hands sliding into the front pockets of his jeans as he walked, tearing his gaze from Dean to hang his head.

"My name is Sam," Sam mumbled softly, stopping a few feet in front of Dean before he looked up at him, squinting against the sun.

Dean nodded, licking his lips. "Yeah, okay, sorry, Sam," he responded softly.

Reaching out, Dean started to lay a hand on Sam's shoulder only to have Sam take a quick skittering step back away from him, eyes wide.

"Don't!" Sam barked out the word before shaking his head, eyes intent on Dean's, "Don't touch me."

Dean let his hand fall to his side as tears stung his eyes, nodding as he hung his head. 

"You lost that right," Sam murmured softly, his gaze intent on Dean, even though he wasn't looking at him.

"You wanted to see me," Sam stated flatly.

Dean looked up, tears in his eyes as his jade gaze met Sam's hazel one, he nodded.

"Yeah," Dean confirmed, nodding, "You look good, Sam," he sniffled, "ya look real good."

Sam clenched his teeth, tearing his gaze away from Dean. "Can you, not talk about the way I look?" He growled softly as he looked back at Dean, tears stinging his eyes. "Or how I taste, or feel!" Sam ground out through gritted teeth, eyes filling with more tears, nostrils flaring.

Dean shook his head, bottom lip quivering, "I'm so sorry, Sammy."

Sam nodded, "You hurt me, you raped me, you put things in me!" Sam yelled at him, his hands pulling from his pockets to curl into fists at his sides.

Dean hung his head, nodding as he wept softly, "Yes," he whispered brokenly.

Sam's bottom lip quivered before his face slowly fell, tears rolling down his cheeks. 

"How, Dean? How could you!? How could you do that to me!?" Sam asked him, nearly yelling though his tears.

Dean shook his head as he continued to hang it, weeping. 

"I - I dunno, Sammy. I dunno..." Dean answered softly.

Sam grit his teeth together as anger flooded through his system at Dean's lack of explanation.

Reaching out, Sam shoved Dean hard, making Dean stagger back, his head lifting, gaze on Sam's tortured face.

"ANSWER ME!" Sam screamed at him though his tears, "I deserve that much!"

Dean nodded, "You do, Sammy, you do," Dean shook his head, a lost look in the depths of his jade eyes, "But, I don't know! I honestly don't know! I swear to God, I don't!"

Sam glared at Dean. "God has nothing to do with this!" he sneered, using the same words Dean had used on him.

A sob tore from Dean's throat as he shook his head, "I'm so sorry, Sammy."

"I was YOUR BROTHER! YOUR BROTHER! HOW could you do that to me!?"

Dean sobbed, shaking his head, "I - I dunno," a whine tore from Dean's throat, "But, you - you're still my brother."

Sam shook his head, "No. Not anymore, I'm not." he hissed softly, "not after what you did to me."

Dean sobbed, hiccuping in a breath as he looked at Sam, jade intent on hazel, "Sammy, please..."

Sam's face contorted in a sneer, "You beg so pretty, Dean," he mimicked Dean's words to him.

Dean cried, choking on a sob as he hung his head.

"In hell," Dean began, glancing up at Sam before continuing.

Sam's face fell from the sneer as he listened to what Dean started saying, tears still steaming down his face.

"I did that to you a thousand times, Sammy," Dean continued, squeezing his eyes closed as he heard Sam's sob.

Sucking in a ragged breath as he opened his eyes, staring at the tips of his boots, Dean continued, "Only it wasn't you, they were just mind games, tricks that Alistair played on me," he shook his head slowly, "The first time, I cried until I didn't think I had any tears left." 

Sam shifted his weight, wiping his nose on his sleeve as he listened, tears still falling freely, his gaze intent on his brother.

Dean sniffled, scoffing. "But, I guess I was wrong, because the next time I did it again to you, I think I cried even harder," he nodded to his memory of that.

Dean slowly raised his head to look into Sam's face, "After a while, it not only became easier, but I started to like it." He bit his lip and shook his head. "I dunno why, Sam. I know how messed up that is, but, I had you there with me for a while," he shook his head, "I dunno..."

Dean raised an arm to wipe his face with it, only to have Sam take a skittering step back, hazel eyes intent on the motion.

Dean sobbed at the sight of it, of what he had done to his brother.

Sam shook his head. "This isn't hell, Dean and I'm the real me." He hiccuped in a breath. "And you did this to me! Me!" Sam told him, his voice started out low, only to end yelling his words as he stepped forward and pulled back a fist, punching Dean, even as his knees seemed to buckle as he wept.

As Dean's head snapped to the side from Sam's punch, he lunged forward, seeing Sam start to fall from the corner of his eye, catching Sam around the waist and slowly lowered them both to the ground, even as Sam continued to pound his fists against Dean's chest weakly as he cried. 

"I trusted you! I trusted you and you did this to me!" Sam cried as he pounded his fists against his brother's body.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy. So very sorry," Dean mumbled softly through his own tears.

"I died there!" Sam cried harder, "I died in that room!" Sam told him as he slowly stopped pounding his fists against Dean, his fisted hands resting against his brother's chest.

Dean shook his head. "No, Sammy, you're okay. You're here and you're safe now. S' okay," Dean argued gently.

Sam choked on a sob as he shook his head. "You're wrong," he retorted, hazel orbs intent on jade. "You killed part of me back there," he shook his head, "And I'll never be the same. We'll never be the same."

Dean's shoulders shook with his sobs as he hung his head, his arms still having not moved from where they had been wrapped around Sam's waist when he had caught him.

One of Sam's hands raised to the side of Dean's face, tilting his head up forcing his brother to look at him as they both wept openly.

"Oh Sammy," Dean cried, squeezing his eyes closed, face wrecked.

Sam leaned in, pressing his lips against Dean's, just holding them there for a moment as they both cried, before he pressed their lips more firmly together, tasting one another's tears.

Dean swallowed a sob that tore from Sam's throat as Sam's eyes squeezed tightly closed, his mouth opening over his brother's.

Dean cried harder as he welcomed the kiss, his tongue dating out just slightly, the tip dancing across the edge of Sam's bottom lip.

That was all it took, it was as if the flood gates opened as Sam crushed their lips together, his hands moving, one on each side of Dean's head, holding him still as he kissed him hard, bruising, punishing, tongue darting into Dean's mouth, running along the roof, mapping him out, teeth knocking together as he devoured his brother's lips and tears in the kiss, his head moving from side to side. 

Dean wept, whimpered, and moaned, his arms tightening their grip around Sam's waist though he was afraid to move them elsewhere, so afraid that this moment could be, would be, broken, shattered, and they would never get it back, so he simply held on, clinging to Sam, letting him take from him.

When Sam finally ended the kiss, nipping Dean's bottom lip hard as he did, his hands still trapping Dean's face, lashes fluttering as he opened his eyes, hazel staring into jade, Dean sniffled, licking his lips, "I love you, Sammy." he whispered softly.

Sam's eyes slowly closed, the fingers of one hand against the side of Dean's head curled in slightly as another fat tear made it's way down Sam's cheek. 

Sam's lips pressed tightly together, before they parted and he drew in a ragged breath, licking the taste of his brother and their tears from his lips before he exhaled slowly and sniffled softly, lashes fluttering as he opened his eyes to look at his brother who was once again weeping silently, "Love you too, Dean." Sam answered softly.


End file.
